She Would Be Good Looking, If It Wasn't For Her Face

My mother-in-law and her three sisters share much. They are all in their late 80s. They are all widows. They all are fiercely independent. All four of them live alone in their own homes. All four have family (sons and daughters) who would love to have them, they just refuse to be burdens on anyone. Moving in with kids is for "old people."

They all share another trait. They are all incredibly funny.

Today was my day to prepare dinner for my wife and her mother. Well, I cooked a brisket on the gas grill, and my wife made a potato salad. I did do the dishes. Well, actually I loaded the dishwasher.

Enjoying dinner my mother-in-law reprised a story told by her sister Melba about a young woman they all knew. All she had to do to collapse the whole family in laughter was repeat the punchline, "she would be good looking, if it wasn't for her face." The setup isn't necessary to start the laughter. It really isn't necessary to this post.

Last Friday I stumbled upon the weekly food fight that is The McLaughlin Report. Last week John McLaughlin focused on recent economic news. Gas prices are up. Food prices are up. Auto sales are weak. The housing market is in the tank. Wages are flat. Credit card usage is way up.

The retail sales are weakest at the bread and butter stores such as Walmart. According to CNNMoney.com "Wal-Mart, the world's biggest retailer, suffered a dismal 3.5 percent drop in its same-store sales last month, the weakest since the retailer first began reporting that measure in 1980. Overall retail sales were down .2% in April."

Around my house we have noticed. Our gasoline bill is up dramatically. We drive my Pontiac as little as possible. We are running the wheels off our Honda Fit. I do the grocery shopping. I have noticed that food prices are up. I am paying very close attention to sales. My daughter works part time at a retail store at the local mall. She told us over dinner that sales are flat. Over the last month or so the store, and the mall, seem dead. Two of my sons work in the automotive industry. They tell me that sales at their store are down and have been down a long time. As a result they are having a harder and harder time making ends meet.

McLaughlin's guest Maria Bartiromo responded to all the bad news by gushing that when you back out food and gasoline, the weak housing market, the weak auto market, stagnant incomes, and the growing disparity between the haves and the rest of America, the "core numbers" look good. Inflation is under control. She pointed to good sales at high-end retailers such as Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom. They have been booming. So has the stock market. Wages are "stable." Many of our big companies are global. China, India and the rest are booming. So are they.

For Ms. Bartiromo and her friends at the very top of the food chain life is good. Don't worry. Be happy.

For the rest of us the economy is like the punchline that collapses my family into fits of hysterical laughter. The economy would be looking good, if every indicator important to the daily lives of most Americans wasn't looking bad. She might be TV's "Money Honey" but every time I look at Ms Bartiromo I can't help thinking "she would be good looking, if it wasn't for her face." The thought doesn't make me laugh.

Did I mention that my mother in law and her sisters' stories always use humor to convey their very great wisdom to us younguns. Happy mother's day, Sarah.