Saturday, July 14, 2007

Not In My Lifetime

Ann McFeatters of the Scripps Howard News Service has offered a "to do" list to Il Douche'™ with the intent of saving the boy king from going down in history as the Worst President Ever. Ms. McFeatters is obviously laboring under the opinion that Bush has even the vaguest sense that he may indeed be in the wrong.

As if any of the following are ever likely to come to pass:

-- Get rid of the us-against-them White House mentality.

-- Make good on the promises made to help Hurricane Katrina victims rebuild their lives.

-- Put together a realistic budget and a realistic schedule for the next 18 months on domestic priorities.

-- Insist that anybody from the administration who testifies before Congress stop stonewalling, lying and citing a claim to executive privilege, which is not found in the Constitution.

-- Leave the business of science to the scientists and stop muzzling them when they dispute the administration's rationale for policy decisions. The president has a right to make those decisions; he has no right to tell scientists who disagree that they can't speak out.

-- Start fighting a real war against terrorism by securing America's ports and borders and reassessing the Department of Homeland Security's vast weaknesses.

-- Stop signing secret "signing statements" that in effect invalidated 750 laws already signed rather than veto them in public, including a congressional ban on torture.

-- Stop trying to bring consensus by infusing Americans with fear. Become president of all the people, not just conservative ideologues. That doesn't mean giving up principles; it does mean recognizing that those who disagree with those principles are not traitors.

And, I particularly found this item amusing:

-- Get rid of the smug, twenty-something political neophytes who micromanaged Cabinet officials, fired U.S. prosecutors and gave supposedly quasi-independent presidential appointees their marching orders on policy and political issues. Bring in adults and listen to the views of Cabinet members, except for Vice President Cheney.

You mean these "twenty-something political neophytes?"

The three guys sitting at the bar at Town Hall in Georgetown swear it's a true story: A friend of theirs called a buddy in the middle of a sexual conquest, placing his cell phone out of view. When the voice mail picked up, it recorded him asking his lady, "You like that Republican cock?"

The guys are wearing golf shirts and drinking Miller Lites. They've been telling raunchy tales about what happens after dark in Georgetown, playing toward expectations. They know I'm a reporter on assignment. At first, the sordid tales of preppy hookups just make me laugh.

Then the bearded one in the middle busts out with this: "Do you like anal sex?" I squint. I'm confused. "Do you do anal?" he repeats, head bobbing with excitement. The litany continues. Do I want to take it in the ass? Have I ever taken it in the ass? My silence is taken as an affirmative and he announces that this interview will go no further unless he receives a hand job. I retreat into a hole carved out during similar sessions in high school and head for the door.

Later, at home, I decide to find the fellows online. It's easy to do since these were no run-of-the-mill meatheads. All three are members of Late Night Shots, a very exclusive, invite-only social-networking Web site. The anal-sex proposition came from John Tabacco, a 25-year-old graduate of Georgetown Prep and Denison University. His friends were both graduates of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Late Night Shots caters to Washington's hard-partying preppy crowd. Think of a new generation of young Republicans getting trashed at St. Elmo's, hooking up, then writing about it at 3 in the morning. The bar-scene-themed Web site launched in late spring 2006 and has since branched out to four other cities. But it's nowhere near as popular anywhere else as it is here in D.C. Founder Reed Landry, a prep-school boy from McLean, Va., claims he has 14,500 members and that a third of them visit the site every day. He and partner Neel Patel say they make enough money from Google ads and banner ads to abandon outside employment.

LNS operates like MySpace and Facebook, but with a heavy emphasis on booze. To get an invite to the site, you need a connection among the clientele of a few select Georgetown night spots. Users have "drinking buddies" instead of "friends" and must list their favorite bars and restaurants. There are fill-in-the-blanks for your sorority or fraternity, your golf handicap, and your country club. The online profiles show a population dominated by good- looking blondes and smirking guys with athlete's shoulders. They attended the University of Virginia, as did Landry, UNC, and a smattering of pretty-good-but-not-Ivy schools in the South and Mid-Atlantic. Under the space for employer, they list investment and lobby firms and jobs on the Hill.

Poor George...if only he was 35 years younger, DC would definitely be his kinda town. Nice to see the adults are in charge. Will David Broder ever recover from the Age of Bush?