Ludicrous Race to Replace Mitch McConnell

Kentucky Democrats face a choice in the May 20 Senate primary in which we have to choose between dying slowly of tortuous drowning because of congestive heart failure, or dying slowly of tortuous drowning because of waterboarding. The pain, the suffering and the result are all the same.

No matter which of the eight "Democrats" vying for the nomination to challenge Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell actually wins the primary, the pain, the suffering and the result are all going to be the same:

Five and a half solid months of McConnell TV ads that so excoriate the Democratic Senate candidate that it destroys every Democratic candidate on the ballot, culminating in McConnell's re-election by a landslide and victories by feckless, worthless repugs downticket.

Kill me now.

Democrats, meet your choices:

Bruce Lunsford, whose real accomplishment in this race appears to be having caused an irreparable split among Kentucky Progressives, pitting those who would chew off their own arms before voting for Bruce Lunsford against those who would pay any price to unseat Mitch - even electing Mitch's very own BFF Bruce.

Greg Fischer, who talks about progressive issues the way an atheist makes small talk at a church picnic - "That's interesting. Something to think about. Is that potato salad I see over there?"

Michael Cassaro, a physician who actually teared up at a public event when a party activist got in his face and demanded he withdraw from the race. His main contribution so far has been a letter supporting gay rights. In Kentucky, that makes him a politician of courage.

David L. Williams, a perennial candidate with no apparent qualifications for anything, who won the Democratic primary for Secretary of Agriculture las year because he has the same name as the Republican president of the state senate. Yeah, I know. But he could actually win the Senate primary the same way.

David Wylie from Harrodsburg is a former postal worker and member of the Kentucky Commission of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. As far as can be determined from his minimal website, he has never held public office.

Kenneth Stepp is an Eastern Kentucky trial lawyer who was the only Democrat in the Fifth District who had the courage to run against incumbent repug Harold Rogers in 2006. Stepp lost in a landslide, but he put quite a few better-known Fifth District dems to shame.

James E. Rice of Campbellsville calls himself a conservative Democrat but his platform leans to the radical side of Dick Cheney. He also says he's "The Candidate for the Common Man." Thanks anyway, Jimmy, but I like to think of myself as uncommon.

Andrew Horne of Louisville, attorney, retired Marine Lt. Colonel with Iraq combat experience, a genuine progressive who has challenged Mitch about Iraq in national forums for the last two years, the Savior of Kentucky Democrats. Until he dropped out of the race and broke our hearts. But his name is still on the ballot, and I will not be surprised if he outpolls Greg Fischer.

And as final proof that the U.S. Senate race in Kentucky is the stupidest election ever, Mitch actually has a republican primary opponent. Daniel Essek. Whose official mailing address on the Secretary of State's web site is in - wait for it - Jellico, Tennessee.
No, I am not contributing to the bad reputation Kentucky politics already has by giving you links for any of these losers.

So, the latest Survey USA poll has Bruce Lunsford down four points and Greg Fischer actually doubling his percentage. Wait - do we have a Bruce Killer on our hands?

No. Unfortunately, Lunsford's four-point drop takes him down to just 43 percent, and Fischer's 100 percent jump takes him from 9 percent to 18 percent.

Fischer's campaign is a complete train wreck, which PageOneKentucky has been relating in painful detail.

Fischer's supporters are nothing if not determined, at which you can marvel on BlueGrassRoots.

Down with Tyranny made a pitch for Greg Fischer, in the course of which he quoted extensively from my own strong attacks on Bruce Lunsford. I appreciate the link, Down, but I have not endorsed Greg Fischer or anyone else in this race.

Which brings us to the point: Who am I going to vote for in the Democratic Primary Election for the challenger to Senator Mitch McConnell?

I have tried to stay above the fray - or rather out of the shit - of this race since Horne dropped out and Kentucky's "Democratic" "leadership" embraced Bruce Lunsford.

But I am going to explain how I'm going to vote and why.

Tomorrow.

Cross-posted at Blue in the Bluegrass.