Sunday, November 30, 2008

Invisible Sky Wizards Don't Do Homeland Security

The Kentucky General Assembly thinks our best protection from terrorist attacks, industrial accidents and natural disasters is - wait for it - an invisible wizard who lives in the sky.

You may also believe this. If you do, please paint "We put our faith in god" on your front door, back door, roof and car so that the next time you need help from the actual human beings who work emergency rescue, they'll know to pass you by to help people who put their faith in government services.

Under state law, God is Kentucky's first line of defense against terrorism. The 2006 law organizing the state Office of Homeland Security lists its initial duty as "stressing the dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

(The quote is from John Cheves' original article in the dead-tree version of the Herald on Friday. That version is not online; the link above is to the version by the AP, which threatens eternal damnation and lawsuits against anyone who reprints its sacred words.)

Stressing dependence on god is the department's initial duty? Really? Because when I'm trapped under tornado wreckage, or seeking shelter from a train wreck's poisonous gas cloud, or hoping the security at the neighborhood chemical plant is tighter than it looks, what I really want to see first is the Department of Homeland Security's overpaid executives down on their knees praying to an invisible sky wizard.

Cross-posted at They Gave Us A Republic ....