Friday, January 23, 2009

Real Bipartisanship

The indispensable Rude Pundit explains how bipartisanship should work in the Obama era. (Warning: X-rated)

Well, of course Barack Obama took the oath of office again. The man knows who he's dealing with: the petulant little fucks of the right who will do anything they can to invalidate his presidency.


Here’s what bipartisanship meant to Republicans: let’s say a Republican and a Democrat are stuck on a desert island. The Republican knows how to survive in the wild, the Democrat knows how to build a raft. They need each other, right? They’re stuck there, and while they may hate each other, they gotta work together or they’re gonna die on the island. While the Democrat is, you know, building the raft, the Republican is gathering coconuts, keeping the fire lit, you know, that kind of shit. It’s all nice and cooperative. And then, when the raft is done, the Republican slits the throat of the Democrat, eats his flesh, drinks his blood, and uses his bones and his clothes for a sail. Bye-bye, island.

Here’s the Rude Pundit's deal: we’ll be bipartisan if you apologize. Not just an eye-rolling “We’re sorry.” Not good enough. We each need to come up with a way for Republicans to apologize. For the Rude Pundit, it’s simple. Blow jobs. He wants to get blow jobs from Republicans. Every time he meets a Republican, he wants to just point at his cock and have them nod, get on their knees. And blow him.

I'll take public professions of belief in and support for evolution, gay marriage, secular humanism, abortion on demand, drastic measures to reverse global warming, and the prosecution of George W. Bush for Desertion of his Military Post in a Time of War.

How do you want repugs to demonstrate bipartisanship?

Read the whole thing.

Cross-posted at They Gave Us A Republic ....