Why Heather Ryan Should Be Running Against Mitch McConnell

Fancy Farm quick hits:

Mitch McConnell provided by far the best performance art, but only because he pays for it. Even the most rabid Lunsford volunteers couldn't compete.

Mitch brought a posse of baby Nazis from his D.C. office. Some carried triple-decker campaign signs on 20-foot-high staffs. They almost impaled several elderly people wearing republican stickers, and reminded me of those giant standards displayed by Roman emperors.

Other Gestapo-in-training wore long fake black beards and Arab-looking robes and burnooses, wearing signboards that blamed Lunsford, Obama and the Democrats for high gas prices. I sure hope he paid those kids well, because those costumes must have been brutal in the heat. Note to burnoose-wearers: the signboard is not very effective if the words are covered by your trailing headpiece in back and your fake beard in front.


If Heather Ryan doesn't beat Ed Whitfield in November, she should run against Steve Beshear in 2011. Mitch's baby Nazis hung arond long enough to try to scream her down, too, and she let 'em have it. She told the story of how her 12-year-old daughter asking McConnell about Iraq scared little Mitchie so much he got Heather fired.

"So thank you for being such a thin-skinned coward, Mitch," Ryan called out. "Because if you weren't, I wouldn't be here!"

(More and more pictures after the jump.)
At the Graves County Democratic Party breakfast before Fancy Farm, Ryan's speech was by far the best, beating even Lunsford for red-meat-throwing and drawing a standing, stamping, whistling ovation second only to the one for Lunsford.


Bruce Lunsford, dammit, gave the second-best speech of the day (after Heather.) Despite having to talk over non-stop screaming from Mitch's baby Nazis and their sitters ("Six More Years!"), he gave far better than he got and sounded - much as I hate to admit it - far more Senatorial than Mitch ever has.


McConnell and Kentucky's other Senator, Jim Bunning, read their speeches, barely lifting their heads or changing their tone, while Ryan, Lunsford, Beshear and Mongiardo spoke heads up and eyes forward (no teleprompters at Fancy Farm.)

The republicans don't seem to know who they're running against. The cardboard fan passed out to republicans had a list of republican talking points on one side and a list of republican candidates on the other side. Kentucky dems aren't always well-organized, but we can spot one of our own candidates at a good 10 feet.

McConnell and Bunning both seemed confused about who their opponents are. Neither one of them mentioned Lunsford, Ryan, Beshear, Mongiardo, or any other Kentuckian.


Mitch is running against some guy named Obama who bears no resemblance to the presumptive Democratic nominee but apparently has been going around Kentucky personally raising gas prices.

Bunning is running against long-married grandmother Nancy Pelosi, whose heterosexal, monogamous, child-rearing values scare Jimmy to death.

Ed Whitfield, who never mentioned his actual opponent Heather Ryan, seems to think he's running against Bruce Lunsford. That may be because this supposed representative of Kentucky's First Congressional District doesn't actually live here; his actual residence is - and has been for several years - in Florida. That's 500 miles and at least three states away from Western Kentucky, Ed.

Ed also doesn't know - or doesn't care - that it's illegal to remove another candidate's signs. His supporters couldn't stand that the home-made-in-her-front-yard Heather Ryan signs outnumbered Whitfield's expensively printed signs along U.S. 80 approaching Fancy Farm, so they pulled them up. Cowards. Criminals. Losers.

The Ditch Mitch crowd had some cute signage on U.S. 80: a series of large boards listing Mitch's crimes and corporate cop-outs over the last 24 years. If only the anti-McConnell movement had a candidate worth fighting for.

Climate conditions were 92 degrees and 45 percent humidity - practically sweater-weather for experienced Fancy Farmers used to 100 degrees with matching humidity. The new covered pavilion is not an improvement: the bleachers block the view of the speakers from everyone in the grass outside the pavilion, and the increased body heat from people crammed inside cancels out the cooling effect of shade.

Herald's coverage here, and here, Courier's here. Page One watched KET's coverage and comments here. KET webcast the whole thing.

And Kilowat has great pix here, here, here, here and here.

And of course Jim Pence was there taking video all day long.

Cross-posted at Blue in the Bluegrass.

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Obama at Fancy Farm?

On Comment on Kentucky Friday night, Bill Bartleman, editor of the Paducah Sun, said Barack Obama might show up at Fancy Farm this year.

If he does, McBush can pack it in - election's over.

Held on the first Saturday in August when the misery index in that Mississippi River lowland hits equatorial jungle levels, Fancy Farm is the Ultimate Test for political candidates.

If you are tough enough to stand unshaded in the unspeakable heat and humidity - typically 95 degrees and 98 percent humidity - for hours, eating barbecue and potato salad and mingling with thousands of sweat-soaked voters without even a single cold beer for relief, then get up at the end of the day to make the political speech of your life in the face of hundreds of semi-pro hecklers trained from birth to out-scream any microphone ...

Well, then, Kentucky voters figure you're serious and worth a look.

At Fancy Farm, you triumph or you die. In 1998, Scotty Baesler, Sixth District Congressman and candidate for Wendell Ford's open Senate seat, went from Leading Democratic Light to Political Dead Man in the course of one over-the-top, foaming-at-the-mouth speech at Fancy Farm.

This year, Fancy Farm is probably going to be the place where Democratic Congressional Challenger Heather Ryan shows her speechifyin' chops to the national press and delivers a knockout blow to First District incumbent Waste of Oxygen Ed Whitfield.

As Bartleman pointed out, Fancy Farm - literally an overgrown church picnic in a hay field - would present logistical and security problems for Obama, but even though it is in the middle of nowhere, it's spitting distance from Missouri, Illinois, Tennessee and Arkansas. It would probably draw press from Memphis, St. Louis, Nashville and Little Rock to a single event.

Fancy Farm typically draws thousands in non-presidential-election years; Obama might possibly draw enough to challenge the 75,000 he addressed in Oregon May 18.

Cross-posted at Blue in the Bluegrass.

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Mitch at Fancy Farm: Stumbo Draws First Blood

UPDATE Below

Never let it be said that Greg Stumbo doesn't come out swinging. The Kentucky Attorney General is close to the worst possible choice to challenge Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell for re-election next year, but Greg drew first blood at the 127th annual "Pork, Pie and Politics" Fancy Farm picnic yesterday. The Lexington Herald-Leader's Jack Brammer reports:

McConnell never mentioned his bid for re-election next year. But Democratic Attorney General Greg Stumbo, who has formed an exploratory committee for a possible run against McConnell, brought several dogs with him to make light of McConnell's famous campaign ad against U.S. Walter "Dee" Huddleston in the 1980s, in which he used hounds to search for Huddleston. Stumbo's white polo shirt said he is "hunting for a real U.S. Senator."

McConnell's only decent line was a shot at Democratic Gubernatorial candidate Steve Beshear.

McConnell noted that he defeated Beshear in a U.S. Senate race in 1996 and that Beshear ran unsuccessfully for governor in 1987.

"It's actually good to see that Kentucky Democrats embrace recycling," McConnell said.

Yep, and you're headed for the compost pile, Mitch.

The real fireworks were between Beshear and Incumbent Criminal Gov. Ernie Fletcher. Brammer again:

The two candidates for governor stumped for votes as a heavily partisan crowd whooped for their favorites and heckled their opponents. Fletcher employed costumed characters in the crowd to underscore his comments. Fletcher said Attorney General Greg Stumbo and other Democrats could not stop him even with their "political witch hunt." On cue, a young woman dressed in a witch's black outfit stood up in the audience as Fletcher pointed to her.

He was referring to a lengthy investigation of hiring in his administration that led to three misdemeanor charges against Fletcher that later were dropped when he and Stumbo reached an agreement.

Fletcher later pointed to a character dressed like Moses. "He must be looking for the Ten Commandments, but he won't find them in our courthouses or schools," the governor said.

He was referring to Beshear's decision as attorney general from 1979 to 1983 when Beshear issued advisory opinions that removed copies of the Ten Commandments from public-school classrooms. At the time, Beshear said he had to follow constitutional and U.S. Supreme Court guidelines.

"I obeyed the law," Beshear said yesterday. "As governor I would obey the law. And wouldn't that be a great change to have a governor who obeys the law?" To illustrate his point, about 15 Beshear supporters who were labeled "Ernie's Chain Gang" marched around the crowd while dressed in prison garb and handcuffs.

Fletcher countered with "Easy Money Steve," who threw out casino chips ridiculing Beshear's position that Kentuckians should decide at the polls whether to allow expanded gambling.

Fletcher, who initially said he would not support or oppose a legislative move for casino gambling but now maintains expanded gambling will never occur while he is governor, said casino gambling in the state would lead to an increase in crimes, divorces and bankruptcies.

Beshear accused Fletcher of using scare tactics on the gambling issue, noting that the Fancy Farm picnic's main purpose is to raise funds through charitable gaming for St. Jerome Catholic church.

He called Fletcher hypocritical for not calling for the repeal of church bingo, the state lottery and parimutuel wagering.

After their speeches, Fletcher said "there is a world of difference" between casino gambling and other forms of gambling now in Kentucky.

In his speech, Beshear pounded away at the "failed leadership" in Frankfort the last four years.

Mixing a tourist slogan for Las Vegas with his lack-of-leadership claims, Beshear said, "What's going on in Frankfort right now shouldn't stay in Frankfort any longer." He then rattled off some figures that showed Kentucky in recent years has been dropping in economic development rankings for states.

And the prize for low blow predictably goes to one of the state's slimiest wingnuts.

The two candidates' running mates also did not shy away from each other. Robbie Rudolph, Fletcher's running mate, said Beshear and state Sen. Daniel Mongiardo of Hazard are "a match made in Vegas."

Rudolph said, "Fancy Dan likes young ...." Rudolph then paused, saying he is glad his daughter recently married.

Rudolph's comments were a reference to Mongiardo's engagement to Allison Patrick of Frankfort. There is an age difference of about 25 years between Mongiardo, 47, and Patrick. Mongiardo said they will not marry until after the November election.

Nice double-play there, implying Mongiardo is both gay and a child molester. Classy, Robbie. Very classy.

UPDATE, 7:17 p.m.: Ditch Mitch has great Fancy Farm coverage. (No permalink - scroll down.) And Hillbilly Report has pictures!

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Pork, Pie and Politics

If you're going to be spending Saturday afternoon like me, in an air-conditioned living room hiding from a truly vicious heat wave, check out KET's live web-casting from Fancy Farm starting at 3 p.m. Eastern Time.

If you know what Fancy Farm is, and you're not from Kentucky, congratulations! You are a seriously addicted political geek in dire need of A Life. If you're from Kentucky and you don't know what Fancy Farm is, what are you doing reading a political blog? Go back to surfing Facebook, you slacker.

Fancy Farm is a tiny town in the far, far southwestern corner of Kentucky, where, on the first Saturday in August, the population explodes from 600 to 15,000 people there to eat the Best Barbeque North of Memphis and heckle politicians attempting to make campaign speeches outdoors in a heat/humidity index pushing four figures.

Rumor this year is that the Young Democrats are going to dress up in orange prison jumpsuits and march around to mock Indicted and Admitted Criminal Governor Ernie Fletcher.

Republican heckling of Democratic Gubernatorial Candidate Steve Beshear is supposedly going to involve a well-funded parody of Beshear's support for expanded gambling. I have a hard time believing they're not going to exploit running mate Dan Mongiardo's - well, the repugs can't decide whether Dan's gay or a cradle-robber for getting engaged to a girl half his age (I do wish the wingnuts would keep their sex fears consistent.)

The event is being emceed by Republican State Senate President David Williams, who has vowed to "control" the crowd. This announcement caused uncontrollable laughter in every precinct of the state. The whole point of Fancy Farm is to goad your candidate's opponent into some kind of foaming-at-the-mouth freak-out that your guy can make the centerpiece of his attack ads.

Fancy Farm always provides political theater at its best; this year, with the first Republican Governor in 32 years running for re-election despite admitting breaking state law and boasting an approval rating worse than George Bush's, is driving partisans on both sides to new heights - depths? - of bring-your-video-camera drama.

Williams' threat of "control" is driving Democrats to a performance-art frenzy. Expect Gestapo-style "security" tactics against Democratic demonstrators.

But the big attraction is Kentucky's own U.S. Senate Minority Leader and Facilitator of the Filibuster Mitch McConnell.

Mitch will have his handful of supporters, of course, and his hundreds of bought-and-paid-for demonstrators, but the Fancy Farm crowd demands its speakers stand up alone and expose themselves to shrieking abuse.

No tame New York Times reporters at Fancy Farm. No Fox Noise sycophants. No Joe Lierberman to hide behind.

Just you, Mitch. You, the heat, the humidity and 15,000 partisans slavering for payback.

And the Food Network, there to check out the barbeque.

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