Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Wurlitzer Prize for Wingnuttery for the Week Ending December 8, 2007

Some weeks, it isn't who will get the Wurlitzer, but why?

This is one of those weeks, and the recipient is none other than the original organ grinders monkey, Bill O'Rielly.

But which bit of wingnutty goodness that spewed forth from the fetid maw of the foam-flecked madman should be the perfect example? Every week in the all-spin zone brings Bill O that much closer to generating his own gravitational field.

Last week he not only called you - yes you - a satanist, but the day before that he declared that, all by himself, he had defeated the "forces of darkness" and *won* the imaginary "War on Christmas" - the fantastic, existential struggle that existed only in the dank recesses of his own fever-swamp of a defective noggin.

On the December 5 episode of his show, he announced that he single-handedly won the War on Christmas. "There's a very effective movement under way to wipe out in the public square all vestiges of Christmas. Stores were ordering employees not to say "Merry Christmas." If I had not done the campaign, then the forces of darkness would have won." (Jeez Bill, I thought you were the forces of darkness. But what the hell? Let me be the first to wish you a Happy Hanukkah, a Blessed Eid and Kwanzaa Greetings, you jingoistic old xenophobe you!)

But he wasn't done! The very next day, he called you - yes you - a Devil Worshiper. What, you may wonder, did you do to deserve that slander against your good (insert belief system here, if applicable) name?

You are here, Dear Reader, and Bill O says that readers of progressive blogs are Devil Worshipers. He tried to play it off..."That was a little satire there…don’t get too upset about it.” But he just couldn't help himself...he had to add “I still think they are satanists.”

The Wurlitzer struggled mightily - should Bill O get the Wurlitzer for being delusional? Or for being paranoid? Unable to narrow it down, the Mighty Wurlitzer has decided to bundle the pathologies into a single diagnosis, and bestow our dubious honor on Bill O'Reilly for being a perfect textbook specimen of delusional, paranoid wingnuttery.